Of High Hopes and Faded Dreams

Although it doesn't fit me,I still bought this floral dress in the hope that someday I'd be able to make a dress or a top out of it. I love the design so much,well I love anything floral,but this one is something different. I got this dress from a thrift store but it was a new dress,it even had a price tag when I bought it. I detached the top from the bottom using a makeshift seam ripper. After that, I took the sleeves off the top by still using the makeshift seam ripper. I folded the bottom part of the dress as that part should not be used unless it's for a DIY of something grand. When we arrived in this apartment,we only had one big and wide curtain. There's a window beside the door and the sun's 3PM rays pierce through the window pane which is not good for our TV set. I can't think of any thing to cover the window pane but the floral fabric which I set aside for future use. I made a mental note to buy a new fabric to use as a makeshift curtain and replace the floral fabric. But lo and behold, almost two years in this apartment and it is still being used as a curtain. The fabric is no longer as 'lively' as the first time I saw it,rather it is now a little faded.Time to just let it be. :)

A couple of weeks ago,I went out to see the gummybears. What was supposed to be a short meeting in a coffee shop inside a mall turned out to be too short we ended up transferring to a different venue where we looked for food and eventually settled until the wee hours.We had so much to talk about,their recently concluded 10-day SEA vacation,our other friends Bambi and Kylie's vacation from work in Singapore,our other friends and any random topic we could think of but alas,we were so sleepy and George has still work to do so we called it a night.

I thought that I'd be able to sleep the moment I arrived in the apartment but no,I wasn't able to enter until an hour and lots of mosquito bites later!

I knocked on the door and called on my sister from the window but she wasn't responding.I tried calling her but her phone's unattended,I can't seem to get connected.I was almost on a panic mode when I realized the need to pee,but I managed to hold it longer.I knew she had duty on that day so she's supposed to be on her way to school before 6 o'clock. It was already three o'clock in the morning when I arrived. I figured that I only have an hour or so to wait since she's usually up by four o'clock.

nagkuris-kuris nalang intawn ang bata aron malingaw.

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Moral of the Story: Uli sayo,sayo's buntag! HAHAHA

My planner and I

This is my 2012 planner,my watermelon Handy Dandy planner,the brainchild of Oh Snap & Co. AND my FIRST ever Multiply purchase! :D Isn't it cute? A watermelon cover page for a planner. It's giving me a summer all-year long vibe!I can't wait to write down my plans for the coming months.I can't wait to fill this out with thoughts of beautiful and/or defining moments/people.And I can't wait to doodle too! I'm claiming it,owning it!My planner and I will make beautiful memories together this year! :)

Now,allow me to take this opportunity also to bid adieu to my constant companion last year.My Starbucks Coffee 2011 planner was with me where ever I went to: it too was soaked with rain water when I braved the heavy rain on the day before Sinulog;when I went to CDO,Zamboanga,Dumaguete,CDO and a number of visits at home;it became a repository of tickets that I accumulated from the places I went to,even that of a public restroom ticket that I got in Zamboanga; websites that I visited and would want to visit again;books that I would want to have someday; museums that I'd hope to visit in the coming years;restaurants to try,recipes I'd like to whip out in the kitchen;articles written in PDI that I would want to read again;floor plans of tiny places that I wish to follow in the future;I even scribbled down expiry dates whenever I buy bread to help me remember! haha Seriously,most of my to-dos and plans were not realized last year mainly because I did not do something about it. I was the worst procrastinator last year and I wish to leave that ugly thing behind me now.It's time to close 2011.You may rest now,Starbucks Coffee planner 2011.Thank you for the year that was.

Get ready,my watermelon planner! :D

KUNG HEI FAT CHOY!!!

All I Want For Christmas

Generally,I do not ask for gifts on Christmas or on any general occasion because:1. I hate to ask and not have it and 2. I hate receiving it from someone I secretly don't like.Also, I do not like receiving gifts because:1. It might be something I don't like and 2. I'm not good in hiding displeasure.Besides,I have this weird feeling that if I'm getting what any random person on the same occasion is getting,that means I'm not special enough that the gift was not thought of.

This Christmas though will be different. I will not just ask for a gift, but anyone who is willing to give me what I want will be assured that I will love it with all my heart whether or not I like you. No need to fret, for I will not be asking for a high-end gadget nor a house or a car! I'd still appreciate it if you'd give me those but those are not what I want! I want nothing but to receive a letter and/or postcard on Christmas. It doesn't need to be fancy,I just want it to be handwritten! :)

A lot of you may be asking,why do I want a letter and/or postcard for Christmas? Why can't I ask for something that doesn't need a lot of effort? Please read paragraph one again to refresh your memory.Haha! Seriously, with almost everything shared on Facebook,Twitter and all the other social networking sites, I can not help but wonder, what else is there that wasn't shared? Well,because I wanna be iba, I want to have an update from you that's not shared with the 'public', those that you call friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter. And,it's been ages since the last time I received a letter and a postcard. I don't trust my memory with this but I think the last letter that I received was from UP which informed me that I didn't pass the UPCAT.I didn't even get to open the envelope at first,I just peeked through the window and saw that common rejection statement "we regret to inform you" blahblahblah. That was heartbreaking! (In retrospect, I would not have met those strangers I now call friends if I passed the exam.) And for the postcard, I only have two,both of which I got in 2002 from my Ninong Lalo. I thought I was gonna get a lot more from him but it stopped.Also,I'm thinking of continuing my mother's post stamp collection. So receiving a letter and/or postcard would also mean I'd get a stamp.It's like hitting two birds with one stone.

I still have a lot to say about letters but I will have to end this now lest I bore you.Haha! So please,please,please be my Santa this Christmas and give me what I want! A handwritten letter and/or a postcard and you'll make me the happiest kid on earth! Thank you!

P.S. I'll love it more if you write in cursive. :)

Quit Smoking Attempt,Failed.

It has been three months since I gave 'quit smoking' a try.I must say that I didn't have a hard time in trying to quit because smoking isn't an indispensable part of my every waking day.As what I always answer whenever someone asks me whether I smoke or not,I can live with it,I can live without it.So quitting or giving it a try is just a walk in the park for me.

The first two months were smooth sailing.I was able to live my life not lighting a stick or more.Even if there were a lot of opportunities,chances or urge to smoke, still my willingness to quit was just so much that I was able to control it.I was 'clean' for two months! I felt extremely happy that I was able to take smoking out of my system.I started telling my friends about it.Some were happy for the decision while others said they'll wait for the day when I'll tell them I didn't make it.

But,as I was on my third month of 'being clean' the willingness started to wear off. Every thing I do to quit the habit seemed like a huge effort to make.It didn't help either that I revisited the places I have most memories of my smoker days.I don't know about you,but I think I jinx myself the moment I started telling people that I'm quitting.I don't know,I just feel that way.

Until one day, I caught myself giving in to the temptation.I lit a stick and,not long after that,I cursed myself for doing so.I FAILED.YET.AGAIN.It's the end of my if-I-get-through-three-months-without-lighting-a-stick-I-swear-I-will-never-smoke-in-this-lifetime-again-ever.Booo.I guess I'm still not destined to quit.I guess it's not yet time.But I want it to happen sooner,like next year perhaps.HAHA!

Seriously,I want to stop smoking.It's doing me no good,I know that from the very start.I know that I'll get tons of health issues later if I don't stop.I know that it's bad for my skin,will cause me wrinkles and will make me age faster but . . . .

I just hope and fervently pray that I get to stop before it's too late.

Doodles.

Today,I miss doodle and the guy who did these doodles.